FUCK

I'M AN UNDERACHIEVER

this needs to change. i'm oozing with potential but i completely lack motivation. like what the fuck i should be a billionaire right now and have like 8 grammys and nobel prizes. i'm gonna start doing shit with my life. like forreals this time.

saturday night blogging

i decided today that even if i hate my next place, i'm not moving again. this shit is such a buzzkill. anyway, day 5 of my cleanse and i'm feeling really good. i don't know how long i can last. honestly, i'm surprised i've gone this far with only minimal jonesing.
i've been missing milwaukee lately. but madison is so cool in the summer. the majority of the douchebags are gone, so it's semi-quiet and there's just so much beauty that i've discovered on my bike. i'm gonna miss these summer evenings...
but i'm excited for school to start. i got into this Toni Morrison class that i've been stalking the timetable all summer for. i counted over 20 novels that i'll be reading this summer on top of all the poems and short stories and writing fellow papers that i'll be editing. my eyeballs will most certainly melt out of their sockets.
it's too hot to live.

I made my own cake

Today is my 20th birthday. Bittersweet
I'm listening to Room for Squares. nostalgia much? i also have my jesus candle lit. i feel asleep watching the L Word and woke up in the strangest mood...like a genuine apathy is almost what i felt...toward everything. the feeling has dissipated somewhat since.
usually around this time of year i start thinking about school, which means summer is almost over. i hate being reminded of it. i have way too many summer dresses that i haven't even worn yet. what the fuck did i do this summer? i haven't even been able to finish a single book. i've started about 20 of them, and can't control my A.D.D. long enough to be able to finish.
i really think i could have made the most of these last few weeks if i didn't have to worry about moving. moving is the fucking devil's cunt and i am not looking forward to it.
and yada yada yada
and i'm quitting weed for a while i guess.

Cash Cab is my show. I really need to get my ass on a game show. I could make so much dough just doing what I do every night in my living room. ahhhhhhh

So today was the last day of poli sci. which was bitter sweet because i'm getting sick of school, but i really really liked prof. Goldstein. I loved loved loved his lectures even though they were power lectures. He got me really interested in politics. I'm on politico.com more often than facebook nowadays. But it's good to have one thing outta the way so I can concentrate on other shit. Just a week more til donezo. I'm not really lookin forward to working, but I am looking forward to stackin that cheese. So about a month and a half from now is when my summer actually starts. i got a gig volunteering at Bay View again which I'm looking forward to. It's just dissappointing that I'm gonna be missing so many on account of summerfest and incubus in chicago.
so things i'm looking forward to this summer:
INCUBUS
summerfest
birthday
HOTness
cute dresses
spending the summer in madison
NOT going to school
catching up on some reading
badass summer movies
Bay View

things i'm NOT looking forward to:
working
moving
HOTness
boredom

guess i should get to studying...

i suck at updating. i guess i've been a bit busy??? last week was hectic as hell. started out with my INTERVIEW for WFP. i'm hoping i get this fellowship, but i'm definitely not getting my hopes up. and of course exams and what nots. i'm FINALLY relaxing and it feels awesome. i don't have anything important to do for at least another week. ahhhhhh...well spring is about to start but it sure as fuck doesn't seem that way. oh and I'm going to see INCUBUS!!!!!!!!! the day after my birthday. i'm hecka excited!!! they're my favorite fucking band. ever! it's in chicago, so it's gonna require a bit of road-tripping but it's all good. i promised myself last time i missed them that i would never miss the opportunity to see them again. it shall be fun. i'm kinda lookin forward to the summer. not really the working part, but gotta stack that cheese. and plus my grandpa's matching every dollar i make so that's doubly awesome! well i guess i'll update more when i feel like it.

DR. Phil and the octomom

so i've been changing my life plans...

i heard that the school of education only accepts about 20 people a year which put my odds of getting in at around...1/200 maybe? yeah so i've decided not to waste my time with these SOE requirements and just apply to Graduate School at UWM where I can get my masters degree and teaching license simultaneously. this plan just sounds so much better to me, and besides, I'd rather do my student teaching in Milwaukee than here. so that is my new plan. i think too far ahead...
2 exams this week that may kick my ass, but as usual i will try my best, perhaps in vain. i've discovered caffeine pills. they make me a bit nauseous but they keep me as alert as Adderrol and they cost the same as 2 cups of coffee, so for what i spend in 2 days regularly, i got 40 tablets which should hold me over at least for a month.
and now the economy is starting to scare me. why does this shit have to crumble just shy of my college graduation? some bullshit. well hopefully the Messiah (Obama) can fix it. if not, then i'm gonna become a Thoreauvian, build a cabin in the woods and live off the revenue from my bean farm.
LOST TONIGHT!
looks like i'll be at la biblioteca por la noche. blogging is fun, yet i wonder if i do it for catharsis or in reservations of others reading it...

i'm boring

sooo. what's newsies?
ummm i got a job for the first part of the summer. semi-exciting. hopefully I can find something to entertain myself for the latter half. we shall see how it all turns out in due time.
school is school. i got one of the high scores on my chem exam which surprised the hell out of me and gave me a huge academic confidence boost, considering i barely studied and spent most of the weekend before it smoking weed and watching lost. but i have to crack down this weekend for my poli sci exam which i feel super unprepared for. i've been reading about federalism all night which isn't exactly the ideal way to spend a saturday evening. but ohwellsies. gotsta do what i gotsta do.

my god, i've been eating like a fucking fat person. full ass meals like errnight and leftovers for breakfast. i need to get my ass on a treadmill since i don't see myself changing my eating habits anytime soon. can't wait til spring. ooooooooo

Chris died for our sins

I finally did it! I got my tat! It was way more painful than my other ones and it took way longer, but it was so worth it. My artist was so cool and very obsessed with details and meticulousness. And that worked out perfectly because it is a pretty detailed symbol. I'm very happy with it but my mother is not, and I'm almost positive my grandparents won't be when the find out.
The first full week of school is over. I have a good feeling it will be among the more boring semesters. Spanish is alright, but I feel like I shouldn't be taking it because it's not going to help me graduate. English is boring as hell already. I really hate Puritan literature. But yeah, being taught by Kermit the frog takes away the dull sometimes. Chemistry is okay but I know it's gonna get hard. Luckily I have a great professor and a very helpful TA. The only class I really like is Poli. Sci. My professor is awesome and he makes even the power lecture very interesting. But my discussion section is LOADED with squares. Blech. So, hopefully this semester goes well because I really really need to get into the school of Education. Otherwise I'm stuck with a stupid ass useless degree. I'm just concerned about getting those letters of recommendation.
I miss my fam yo! It's weak being so close to them but rarely being able to see them.
I got back in touch with Chris which is awesome because I missed him a lot. He was always such a good friend to me and it sucks that we grew apart.
HEROES IS COMING BACK! OMG I'M SOOOOOO EXCITED! That's what I have to look forward to nowadays.
Hopefully I can get a job this summer otherwise I will be bored because I doubt I'll be able to get money for summer school. These concerns bring more stress than I care to handle right now. And also moving out is gonna be a bitch. Because the lease ends on the 14th and we can't move in until the 16th so that's 2 days of homelessness plus I don't know who's gonna help us move our shit! such dilemmas, although far away, trouble me.
Well, I must be off to write a paper. ahh back to this again.

New pres,

despite my new year's resolution to blog more often, i forgot my password for the past couple of weeks, hence the lack of posts.
there hasn't been much to blog about lately anyway. I've been sitting on the couch watching reruns of cops, maury and really really bad reality TV. I'm not complaining though. I know I will miss it once school starts in a couple of days. I finished knitting Dar's scarf. turned out beautiful. I then started a scarf for Rey, but had to take a long break to heal my wrists which are in pain from excessive computer use and knitting.
Also I got a new ipod. It's orange and beautiful. And I scored some free downloads and finally got some new music on the playlist. Radiohead, Santogold and MIA. Radiohead In Rainbows is probably one of the best albums I've heard in a while.
So, I don't know how this year will turn out. I have a feeling it won't be amazing. I'm worried about getting money for summer school and getting a job. And having time to do something besides study this semester. I would like to do some volunteer work but I really don't think I have time.
I want to go on the Real World.
I want to go shopping.
I think I'm getting a tattoo this week. Hopefully!!! I'm getting the same one that Brandon Boyd has on his forearm. Hopefully all my ink does not hinder my job getting abilities in the future.
I want to do something to my hair. Color. or curls.
Man I am bored. Think I'll go hit the bong.